We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
