ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
