NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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