Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
