I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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