Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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