He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
