speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
