i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize