I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
