somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
