you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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