She is in my trunk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
