if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
