I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
