just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize