she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
