I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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