i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
