Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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