Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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