I think I died a long time ago.
home. puking in laundry basket.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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