hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
