I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
nutella sex= disaster
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I came so hard my ears popped.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
