i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
