he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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