What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize