I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize