his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
