I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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