Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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