Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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