Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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