Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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