yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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