wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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