i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
