I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
