Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
