Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
