lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
