He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
