dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
