I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
