i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
