More tranny stories later!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Randomize
