He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
