In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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