He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
only if we run a train.
done.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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