Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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