I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
