Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
