He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
