Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
wow bdsm is so cute
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
