You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
