just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
