of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
