did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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