And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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