I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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