when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
