Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
