There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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