I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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