LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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