Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
