went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
