I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
