I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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