Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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