tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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