i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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