I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
