I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this will be a night to untag.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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