I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Girls should come with a carfax report
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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