Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Holy sore nipples Batman
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
