We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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