Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
